Saturday, September 27, 2014


I've been contemplating our upcoming "milestone" wedding anniversary (April 1, 2015, in case you care) and what advice, if asked, I'd give to any couple contemplating marriage. After some consideration, I realize I'd give the same advice to any couple contemplating divorce.

First, I'd tell them a little story about Ivaan and me:

The morning of our wedding day, Ivaan announced he was going to work. That seemed a little over-zealous, since he was self employed, but he assured me he'd be back in plenty of time.  So off he went, and I busied myself getting my hair and make-up done.  He arrived home in plenty of time. I expected he'd go upstairs and put on a suit, but he said, no, he was planning on being married in the clothes he was wearing: black trousers and shirt, his black leather jacket and a black and white scarf.  A number of thoughts raced through my mind, the most prominent among them being, "If you don't put on a suit, we're not getting married".  Then I looked at his face.  He looked terrified.

So instead, I asked myself, "Look, do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?"

I chose happy, and I said, with as much equanimity as I could muster, "All right, then, let's go".  And we did.  An hour later, we were husband and wife.
Our wedding reception was scheduled for the following day.  My new husband got up, put on his tuxedo and looked gorgeous as always. Best of all, he looked radiant. I dressed up a little, too, in my first haute couture dress, but neither of us could hold a candle to our Princess Bridesmaid, the lovely Nicole Madeleine Duke, age five, resplendent in a Jessica McClintock gown and a golden tiara.  She outshone the bride and groom, by about a mile.
Nearly 20 years later, I reflect on the advice I gave myself on my wedding day. It was the best advice I've ever given anybody. If you are contemplating marriage, or divorce, and you want some good advice, just ask me. I'll tell you the secret to a long and happy marriage:
"Never Choose Right.  Always Choose Happy."

No comments:

Post a Comment